#and I don’t see any future for myself lmfao I just don’t the only thing I want is to get a dog that’s it
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coconutcows · 1 year ago
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I do not want to come across as rude to you. But I've been thinking of your #personals, #vents  etc. I am only sending this for your well being and to know I am here.
you should not be holding out this hope you have. You should be living your life, I'm sure this person is doing just that and you should be as well. Holding out hope only hurts you more in the end
Hello there anon, I want to jokingly ask if you’re my previous partner using the anon feature to try to gently let me know they’ve decided it’s 100% over but don’t want to tell me directly because they don’t want to hurt/upset me and/or are ready to move on themselves but will feel bad or guilty if they do knowing im holding out hope. If you aren’t well, I appreciate you reaching out anyway because it probably took a little bit of guts.
But the thing is, holding out hope that the One Person who’s ever made me feel desired and like I was possible to love, is probably one of the least reasons keeping me from “living my life”. Holding out hope is background noise in my head tbh, except in the moments where I miss them so intensely it bubbles up, which can happen because somethings too tall for me to reach to just missing their presence because it was a comfort. The fact of the matter is no matter how I feel I can’t and don’t want to control their feelings, and only time will heal or tell. They were my first and so far only love so they’ll always have a piece of my heart
More to the point of the ask here, what’s keeping me from living my life is……I don’t Have a Life. What’s keeping me from living my life is having no money, having no license, no car. I have two friends not counting my previous partner who is my best friend, one who just had a baby she’s obsessed with and another who is engaged, too busy working, and lives in another town. There are no job opportunities here, I already took what was arguably the best one in this town a union job cleaning at a hospital which was so bad it made me start to Ingest Industrial Grade Cleaners (only my counselor knew this up until now). This is why I finally went on antidepressants. I’m pretty sure my town is just becoming a drug den full of money laundering businesses. There’s no social events that happen here, and even if I did want to “move on” I’m related to every other person in this town. And of course the biggest issue holding me back from living my life is I am Myself, but I’m not going to go on a self deprecating spiel right now.
And truthfully I am living my life, there just isn’t anything to it. I live in a shitty small town, a town where someone was just recently caught on a shop camera taking a piss out in public in broad daylight with their bare ass facing the road as close to the outside dining area they could get to this business. The biggest thing I have going on in my life is Pokémon Go and Pokémon in general. I also have my dolls I collect, which don’t make me anywhere near as happy as they used to but also don’t worry if you criticize them at all someone will come yell at you for having an opinion. My knitting which while I’m extremely good at it and people tell me how great it is no one wants to pay what I’d charge for my plushies despite my prices still being far under the actual amount of labour I put in (nurses who make $20-30 and hour who think $50 is too much for my chicken and her chick which took me days to make). And everyday I go visit at my Aunts house which is usually just gossip and talk about whose recently died about people I don’t know. Once a month I go with my Aunt, Grandmother, and Cousin to the next town over because oh yeah there’s no places to shop here either. Oh yeah and we’re pretty much just waiting on my grandfather to die at this point (I’m not getting into this because this is already far longer than I meant it to be). And sometimes I go for drives with my Mom or my Dad when he’s down.
So that’s what it is, Anon. Truthfully I am living what I have to my life, and I know they are too because I talk to them pretty much everyday. And I can’t just stop hoping or move on because of who I am and because I lack most relationship skills that aren’t “by god do everything you can to keep this relationship going”. So I am sorry for the long vent/rant here, I didn’t mean it to turn into this.
And i don’t mean this as rude but Anon? If you or anybody else has any actual advice on How to actually stop hoping, please share it. Because I never got the experience to learn how to do that
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laylajeffany · 1 year ago
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Hi! As you can probably guess, I completely love Chaos, and I have a few more questions. Thanks for the playlist by the way, it’s been all I’ve listened to since you linked it. Sorry for all the questions, I’m just curious.
1) In the Spotify playlist, the first song is “Sea, swallow me”. Is that song referenced somewhere in the fic, or does it just give off a general Chaos vibe? I’ve been trying to remember if it was mentioned somewhere but cant recall. As an additional Note, it is my new favourite song, so thanks!
2) You mentioned that all the OCs appearances are physically based on real people. Who are Dr Zypher, Emiliana and Holly-Jane based on? Is Emiliana based off of Eva Green, because thats how I imagine her. You’ve done an excellent job with the OCs, they’re just so perfect.
3) When you describe clothing, do you make them up in your mind or doe they actually exist? I get that some, like the custom ordered dresses in the latest chapter, must be made up, but are some of them real? Do you have some Pinterest board with all of their clothes just to keep track? 😂
4) How do you find time to write? I write 1000 words for my fic every day, and it takes me about an hour. 50K chapters in 2 weeks is a miracle. Do you sleep?
I’ve probably forgotten a question or two, so I hope you don’t mind if I ask more in the future😅
Thank you for all you do, I’ve never been so invested in a fic before. Just remember to relax and take breaks when you need it, don’t force yourself to write on 2 hours sleep!
I am happy to answer questions about Chaos for the Fly, the writing process, and other fic/writing related things. Thank you for your interest! 1. I think I referenced near the beginning somewhere that Wednesday had discovered some music on her own outside of classical when she accepted an algorithm to suggest songs for her. It had been 80s imports of some kind - and that was probably the one that I had in mind, even if it wasn’t mentioned specifically. There’s probably a few songs that weren’t actually mentioned by name but were alluded to in the fic - meaning I didn’t say the title in dialogue, but had something playing in the background for myself, and there you have it. 2. You have opened a VERY DANGEROUS can of worms with this question, lmfao.
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You are a dead ringer for Emiliana! That’s Eva Green, 100%, the ONLY person who could play the role. It would be like a touch of Penny Dreadful for the out-of-her-damn-mind demon possession vibes, but mostly, just as herself (she’s cray and I love how socially awkward and accidentally funny she is in interviews) not so much Vanessa Ives. Eva Green has worked with Tim Burton a ton of times and wouldn’t even need a single line of direction in this role. Emi is SO easy to write because she is pure chaos both in physicality, mentally, her linguistics, her magic, and personality. I honestly think she’s one of the characters I’m saddest isn’t real because she’d fit in to drive Wednesday absolutely MAD as her big bird. I have a feeling we’re not going to explore Raven lore in S2 and the two of them trying to figure out their powers together, after Emiliana spent half her life suffering alone, has been some of my favorite parts of the fic to write. I always write scenes with Emiliana the fastest. Her love of Beanie Babies and bad influence is entirely, too much fun. Her voice is so easy and she will never truly understand American idioms. 
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Dr. Zypher is AMY ADAMS, because GAY-ME, for Amy Adams. She’d absolutely crush the role, the fact that she doesn’t have a closet full of Oscars is just despicable (6 time nominee bro). SHE HAS THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL and I don’t think anyone ever lets her sing enough in movies. Put this woman in some broadway revival of an old musical and you’ll catch me personally saving the economy from collapse by taking the train up to see her every weekend. She's so adaptable and different in any role, and I just feel like she’d volley SO WELL with JO’s Wednesday. She's a professional who understands character layers that sweet and angsty Josie requires.
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Dr. Holly is Emily Blunt plucked right from the Jungle Cruise movie in terms of how she’s styled but a far cry from her character there with her boldness - even if they would likely have competing career ambitions. ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN EMILY BLUNT IN ALL THE SUITS IN THE NEW NETFLIX PAIN HUSTLER MOVIE? I’m deceased. This is a ghost writing. Holly is really in the story 1) because I needed a plot line for Larissa, post-transformation, that didn’t involve Wednesday and was TRAGIC but beautiful and could GO SOMEWHERE, and2) we REALLY do need something to stabilize the molecular structure of shifting-type Outcasts, and 3) it helped give some context as to how desperate Larissa was to hire Normie "Thornhill" and why she took that chance against her usually better judgement- so there she was! Emily Blunt is a CLASS. ACT. In everything she does and I imagine her in a scene with Gwendoline COULD NEVER exist because it would be too powerful, solve all the world’s problems, and capitalism would break, societies would collapse. It could never happen. It wouldn’t be safe. Here’s her glow up, from fresh-out-of-the jungle, to letting Larissa buy her some new clothes and maybe letting her hair down every now and then, to nerdy botanist bombshell, at the New Nevermore Network, helping her girl rebuild things to be a more fair society for Outcasts. GORGE. 
ARE THESE ALL JUST WOMEN IN THEIR MID 40s THAT I HAVE A BIG LESBIAN CRUSH ON? YEAH, YEAH THEY ARE. There’s obviously more for staff at Nevermore and the Network but I have a solid 5k to get to writing still this evening. The rest of my OCs are pretty minor (well villain aside), and I don’t really care enough about any man to spend the time looking for pictures of /boys/. These are the 3 OCs that are featured the most, anyway. Some day I’ll find enough energy to do the rest. I have extreme face-blindness when I read, and the ONLY WAY I can thusly write an OC is if my beta makes a powerpoint presentation for me with an actor/ress in mind for me to visualize in the role. When I tell ya, she hit the nail on the head with those three above? Unbelievable.  Another favorite not-OC, but someone I HARDCORE RECASTED FOR THIS would be Granny Frump. We went from Margaret Hamilton (OG Wicked Witch of the West from Wizard of Oz) in the 1960s Addams Family, which is EXCELLENT CASTING, but to fit the more modern-era Wednesday 2022 adaptation, and to give a flair of the drama as to perhaps where Morticia “gets it from,” I decided to cast someone only two years older than Catherine Zeta-Jones to give that “Frump Homespun Magic” storyline some weight of ‘the potions and beauty charms work’ and went with a non-actress, for the aesthetics (though she could KILL IT her appearances are small), and that is the one and only, What Not To Wear’s Stacy London.
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Like IMAGINE that matching vibe with CZJ’s Morticia? Stacy has similar build/some features in common, and with the all black hair BUT WITH HER SIGNATURE gray stripe? Iconic. (And that was also Grandpa “Clint’s” backstory last chapter, as in Stacy and Clinton’s dramatic saga. HEY - IF YOU DONT HAVE INSIDE JOKES WITH YOUR BETA in your writing, what’s the point??) Stacy’s voice and CZJ’s Morticia voice together would be SO GRATING and Wednesday would just be so in-her-element between them, I LIVE.  3. I usually just visualize what I’d want the characters to wear! I don’t often have picture inspiration - though sometimes I am writing and it says in bold highlight DESCRIBE THE DRESS - TRACEY FIND ME A DRESS, and she sends me some pictures to go through so I can just describe a garment without having to make it up. I don’t have a Pinterest I’d be willing to share. It’s just a binder full of women in a way that would probably unsettle most. 
4. I usually write about 2-2.5k an hour if that is all I’m focused on. I probably average 4-9k on a work day without a second job or social obligation after work, and the most I’ve ever written on a single day that I had no work, other ‘sponserbilities, or social plans was 21k. On an average weekend with like one thing to do during the day and some chores and relaxation time not writing, I probably go around 14-16k per day. At the same time I started this fic, I set a new year resolution to myself to only work my contracted hours, so with the exception of a few crazy times in the school year - like conferences - I work from 8:00-15:30 M-F, and I live a three minute walk from my school, so I don’t even lose time commuting. I also stopped working on weekday evenings on the side in August, and starting in 2024 will not be doing any extra side work at all. I don’t sleep great but I do try! :) Thanks for the questions! I've been meaning to give some faces to those 3 OCs. I strongly encourage you to print out pictures of them and post them on your fridge, you will be 100% happier if you do.
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kidflashimpulse · 1 year ago
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It's me again from the overexcited ramble from earlier BUT I'M NOT DONE
Bart knowing about Gar before others feels so real because he's spent his childhood surrounded by people who felt like Gar does right now, and maybe Gar (not to mention Bart himself) felt like that in the future as well. I wonder how well Bart knew BB in his own time, if he ever really knew him at all, and if it has impact on their current friendship
Oh to see the effects of Bart's childhood on his behaviour in the present, you've sprinkled bits and pieces, and I'm taking it all in like a starving man
And the Thawne DNA confirmed!! GOD it was so good, the love he has for his mom and the despise he has for his grandfather (not Barry obviously) is perfection, I hope Thad got what he deserved when Bart got out
And FINALLY the recognition he deserves with his intelligence, like you said: he knows his stuff. So happy to finally read a fic which shows that Bart is GOOD at what he does, he built a time machine for heaven's sake!
BUT ALSO TYE WAS SUCH A LEGEND LMFAO I love the friendship (or more like feigned frenemyship?) he has with Bart, their dynamic in your fic is hilarious
Okay that was all, thank you for reading this rollercoaster
Your work is absolutely incredible and I can't wait to see where the story/stories are going from here
love the energy 😍 sdfghjkl
yeah i like to think that as soon as gar came back from Mars bart took one look at gar and was like damn he’s going to be going through it
i just imagine mental illness would be extremely prevalent in bart’s original era, i think it’s by-product of a post-apocalyptic society that makes too much sense. And with no system in place to treat it as normal, well bart must have seen some pretty intense stuff
honestly i really don’t know (or have an idea lol) of how well bart new gar in his TL, in my opinion he didn’t know him personally at all. I’m usually in the camp that most of the team had died in one way or another in bart’s time. The ones that i usually do think he knew or knew of “in person” some what at the very least are Barbara Gordon, Wally West (this is a maybe), Lian and maybe that’s about it. It varies with either more members or less, hoe stay i’m unsure, but these r the ones that i typically think of. With how coy bart was when he first came to the past and spoke to gar, honestly anything is possible though lol
i just usually don’t think that the original members were as involved i. his childhoos as some fics make them out to be, one of the biggest reason is because i think the ones who were alive, dispersed to different locations to take part in rebelling etc so it would make it hard for him to know many personally, he might have heard of and gotten details, but beside that it’s really up in the air. The only HC i sometimes think of /include is Barbara Gordon being the one to teach him how to read/write etc education stuff when he was really young and the tornado twins were still alive (so before he was 5), but other than that, idk
“Thawne DNA confirmed” sdfghjkl LOVE THIS, yeah u heard it here first folks, it’s confirmed 😁 jk lol yeah it makes me super happy to include it in AAIT i feel like it really fleshes out his backstory on time related things and i just love all things related to him and his mom and his thawne side, it’s just very satisfying to think about so being able to explore that and HCs in my fic, very fun. I have such a specific vision for Thads involvement in Barts and (ofc as a result) Melonis lives and there will be a little more on that in future chapters, so stay tuned 🤩
PREACH omg the only thing that’s left for us is to see the day his wiki page is updated on it !! capability and intelligence to me is such a key bart feature idk if this make any sense but it just is lol i’d update the wiki myself if i could try to understand the editing process i just don’t have the energy to go thru reading all the rules or figuring it out to do it rn
tye + bart friendship is everything to me i just feel like they’d be rlly entertaining together just so much potential lol
thank u so much for sharing ur thoughts and kind words with me i appreciate it so much <33 and again thank u for reading AAIT, i really appreciate it 🧡
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babyfairy · 1 year ago
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you know maybe this is #mentallyill of me to say but like. when i think about all of the pain i have endured in the last year alone. and when i take a look at the world around me and think about the inevitable pain and loss i’ve yet to experience or that ANYONE has yet to experience. i have zero clue how anyone can stand it. like to me suicide seems like the only logical conclusion. i cannot visualize myself in 10, 20, 30 years from now still living in this hellscape. i don’t understand how people have the strength or the will to carry on. i feel like i’m missing something lmfao like i see the people around me kind of just carrying on like usual even in the face of grief or suffering and it’s just like. how do you do that? i’ve literally lost any and all desire to be here. like i feel like i talk about it almost excessively but i can’t stand it. i feel so detached from everything. i feel angry all the time and my anger is directionless so i feel like i have to put massive effort into not projecting that anger onto people around me because nobody deserves that. nobody is at fault for me feeling this way. i’m just tired of having to make the active decision to still be here and to carry on. it feels pointless. and to struggle on top of it? worrying about money every single day? my career? my future? what’s the point? i don’t want a future. i don’t want to be here but i have to stay because there are people here who would grieve my loss and i can’t stand the thought of that. guilt is literally the only thing keeping me here. if i didn’t care i’d be gone but i do. i don’t want to inflict pain on anyone i love. but sometimes i wish nobody loved me so i could just get it over with. i know that’s horrible to say and to feel but it’s true. and i feel guilty about it every day. about not wanting to be here too. there are so many people who deserve to be lmao. people who’d give anything for one more day. and here i am just wanting it to be over. what a waste
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stunads · 8 months ago
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can you ever delete memories and feelings from your brain hard drive?
bryan is so interesting
i literally can’t help falling in love with him? scientifically speaking of course
it’s just so interesting
interacting with him from this much more mature place, as someone who understands herself a lot more, and understands life a lot more, and probably him a lot more even though there’s actually so much i don’t know about him now
it’s almost like i can see the past in the present
gosh i wish i could put this in to words
hopefully this is enough for my chronicles
i wonder if we’ll ever get to unlock the mystery of who we are to each other
memories flash in my mind, i can’t see them or conceptualize them but it’s like a feeling
i’ll just randomly smile during the day
and somehow i’ll know it’s because i remembered something about bryan
i mean, i haven’t changed all that much in my core, if anything .. i have become more myself
and that girl is the same girl that fell in love with him
i’m her, heyyyy it’s me
and he’s still so him
so it’s just interesting that after all this time, it feels like no time has passed
and my brain just snaps back to heart eyes, heart boom, smiling at my phone, thinking about .. that thing we used to do
gosh i literally haven’t thought about sex in a minute
that primordial blood oath am i right
let me stop typing
this was supposed to be scientific note taking
i truly need to stress to myself in the future and any potential stalkers or future invited readers that i absolutely do not care about romance at this time in my life
i have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship
i have no relationship gas in my relationship tank
all men are insane
bryan included
i don’t even know if that’s the guy i would even want to be my husband when it’s all said and done
he has on numerous occasions demolished my heart, annihilated my confidence, warped my body image, scrambled my brain to the point where only God knows the extent of how clinically insane that relationship made me, used me for my body? , lied ?, cheated and got away with it ??? , humiliated me, many many more nightmarish things the last of which i will mention here is straight up tell me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me lmfao
woof. a lot to unpack still lol
so
when i say scientific i mean scientific
i’m like the most normal genius girl on earth, i know future me will know if she ever needs to go back and review her field notes
that this girl is not tripping over bryan cromwell
just so curious to unravel all of these strange feelings
dreams that feel so real
the unstoppable feeling of wanting to catch up with him if it’s been too long
the undeniable truth that seeing his name pop up on my phone is still in my top favorite feelings
and let’s just say it our fucking sex was bonkers what are we going to do about that
i never want to have sex before marriage ever again stupidest fucking dumb ass idea of my retarded life thanks a lot dumb ass bryan for ruining my fucking life idiot ass
not with the sex that was awesome
by breaking up with me and ruining my life long vow of celibacy until marriage you dumb fucking piece of shit
and then i went insane and had a few accidents because being a girl is very very hard and guys don’t understand this at all and guys are very pressurey and i was raised to perform whatever tasks and fulfill whatever requests were asked of me and there are many other things that contributed to my dumb assfuckign idiot ass being perpetually retarded for a few years
not that you asked or cared piece of idiot shit
sometimes guys threaten you and throw things at you or start screaming or threaten to hurt themselves or start failing out of college if you don’t agree to hang out with them
or get you way more drunk than they got and sometimes even put things in your drink!
or fucking kiss you when you fall asleep in your own house like a fucking freak of nature
so yeah once SOMEONE you ONLY had sex with because he also believed in God and Jesus and also was planning to wait until marriage and then one day he said okay let’s go for it because obviously we are gonna get married we just can’t yet because we’re 16
when that guy dumps you forever right before college starts and he’s going to the same college as you even though he was going to penn state his whole life and said he would never go to tcnj probably just to make sure you don’t fall in love with kevin ramos
because he didn’t see or hear all of the many times you tried to tell him kevin ramos was a dare i say abusive, incredibly manipulative, scary freak that you only fell into the clutches of because aforementioned virginity taker couldn’t decide which of his fan girls he wanted to claim
when that guy dumps you before college, the guy that made you feel guilty about having premarital sex and the imminent afterlife in hell even though he pulled the trigger and you only did it because Jesus personally told you it was totally kosher because we were the most cutest couple ever, married in our hearts and in the eyes of the Lord who knew our hearts
when that guy DUMPS YOU right before you embark on another 4 years of being trapped in the same habitat, and says it’s because he doesn’t like your personality at all he is just using you for your body and that is wrong
when that happens to you, and your sacred seal is broken along with your mind body and soul
and you don’t have the protection of purity any longer
or the will to live lol
welp you get into some precarious situations and girls are taught to fuck their way out of them lest we be stabbed or strangled or punched or something
so anyways woof a lot to unpack there LOL
what was i talking about
oh right
i also only had *** with dumbass mother fucker even bigger idiot evil piece of dumb ass h**** because i thought i was gonna marry his stupid ASS because i’m so fucking RETARDED and i was legally brain dead after my last dumping and as the laws of the realm decree if i get shattered by bryan i have to fall into the hands of a diabolical lying manipulating violent psychopath
but i finally stopped being retarded
so by the power of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ through the grace of God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit i really really really really don’t want to have sex again with anyone on planet earth unless that man is my husband actually ring on, church saw, God saw, locked in
okay but here’s the crux of the issue - what if he’s trash and got a small dick and no stroke and doesn’t have beautiful eyelashes or crooked pinkies or the voice of an angel or makes those cute little faces and noises or grab me and the right way
okay some of those things i can verify pre maritally
i’ve honestly lost track of things a bit got myself a little flustered
it’s so funny how just thinking about how cute bryan is just wipes away any bad feelings i could have lmfaooo now im like girl chill out why did you pop off for 7 paragraphs he can use us for our body that’s fine
LOL i need Jesus to come pick me up fr like i need to hang up my human body in the rafters of this mortal coil like a jersey, i’m at the retarded mall of life and i need a ride home,
anyways i think i made my points for tonight’s field report
to recap
1. i love being friends with bryan
2. i hope one day the nature of our true meaning to each other will become more evident
3. i hope we both find the perfect partner and will be able to each have a beautiful wedding to exact person God made for us and that we can both be at each other’s wedding and God willing that process could happen at the same time so it’s just perfect and we can be truly happy for each other and friends with each others partners and friends together forever
4. life is so beautiful but also so scary and it makes me happy that even though many things change, i can still talk to bryan cromwell and things don’t feel scary anymore
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gwyns · 8 months ago
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What are your thoughts on this Vassa & Gwyn theory?
https://www.tiktok.com/@ahappyhermit/video/7209734245927914798
I randomly saw it and just wanted to share. I’m not familiar with this person and don’t follow them because I don’t have TikTok (I randomly found the video and got the link), so idk how she feels about Gwyn, but I thought the parallels between Gwyn & Vassa were interesting. Gwyn might be a lightsinger, but I’m strongly against the theory that she’s evil, it makes no sense to me, imo.
i do find this interesting too but ultimately i think this person is reading too much into it. the definition of coltish is "energetic but awkward in one's movements or behavior" so i really don't think it holds any significance lol
however i would be thrilled if gwyn and vassa were somehow tied together, since i love both, but i just don't see it. also it's weird for op to say that last names are usually a human thing when we only know a handful of last names within the series so... i just find it an odd argument to try and make LMFAO. we know fae have family names too, they're just usually irrelevant. in this series, a last name just means this character is or will be very significant later on, in my opinion
i personally don't really see gwyn as a lightsinger, like i know her lineage could be diluted to the point where it doesn't make her evil but idk the description of them were pretty bad so like... i just don't like it, but we'll see in the future!!
overall it's fun and has some interesting points but i don't really see much there myself
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dmitri-smerdyakov · 2 years ago
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I’m going to be so immeasurably pissed off if Secrets of Dumbledore was the last Fantastic Beasts film because of a multitude of reasons, but especially:
Autistic!Newt: autism is rarely portrayed in the media, and when it is, 99.9% of the time it’s in a negative way or as some kind of saviour p0rn stuff. Newt Scamander is not only a positive (AND CANON!) representation of autism, it’s the only one in a major franchise such as the Wizarding World, and he’s the main hero to boot. Cancelling the remaining films means we don’t get a full franchise with an autistic hero, which would suck so hard. As an autistic person, I really want to see more of Newt and am beyond thankful for how Eddie has clearly done his research and played Newt so beautifully and respectfully.
Newtina: Even putting aside the fact I’m a Newtina shipper, it would be awful if we don’t get the remaining two films to show how Newt and Tina ended up married with great grandkids and living in Dorset in their 120s. Not being funny but all the side couples have had their time to shine: Jacob and Queenie are now married, and Grindelwald/Dumbledore’s blood pact thing is solved, although yes, there’s also the duel but still, it definitely felt like there was closure of some kind to the romantic side of their story in SoD. Newt is the main character and Tina is (supposed to be, fuck you JK/WB) the female lead as well as his canon love interest/future wife. It’s just stupid to tease them in the first movie and not give any kind of closure or progress to their relationship beyond the literal crumbs in the following two films. It’s long past overdue to let Newt and Tina have some focus and to give Jacob/Queenie / other couples a more background role.
Tina Goldstein: What they’ve done with Tina’s character is disgusting. “She’s busy” - fuck off with your lame excuse for her absence in this film. It’s so painfully obvious Katherine was cut because she spoke out about JKR - and if it’s not that, she’s certainly had a huge falling out with JK/WB because she has done zero promotion for SoD beyond turning up at the London premiere specifically just for the fans (as shown by the hours she spent taking photos and signing stuff, which btw I witnessed in person! I was there!), and when she posted a picture of herself at the premiere, she didn’t mention the film, just shouted out her make up and hair people. She’s supposed to be the main female character, and they’ve delegated her to little more than a cameo. As a Tina fan, it really hurts to see because she’s the reason I fell in love with the first film because I saw myself in her character. I want the last two films just so that Warner Bros can give her character the development she deserves because apart from the first film, her only role in CoG and SoD has been reduced to 1) to be mad at Newt, 2) to go after Credence and then have that plot line dropped, and 3) to turn up at a wedding.
Other Characters: I want to see more of Lally because I fucking adore her! She’s probably my favourite female character after Tina! I want more of Theseus, and more of the Scamander brothers relationship! What happened to Nagini? I want to see more Jacob too, more Queenie, more Yusuf, and I even can’t wait to see any new characters that might appear! (They can keep Bunty tho lmfao her and her actress are trash - and yes, I am allowed to say that because I witnessed VY being shit in person so yeah fuck her)
The Beasts: Umm, hello??? Warner Bros are really going to deny us more of Teddy the Niffler??? More of Pickett??? The Baby Nifflers??? I want to see more Mooncalves, more Fwoopers, more magical creatures! The series is literally called “Fantastic Beasts”, can we PLEASE have more beasts???
The Cast: I just love so many of our cast and miss the days where they seemed to be enthusiastic about the franchise - now the only ones who seem excited anymore are Eddie and Mads (and VY but like I said she’s stuck up so f*ck her) I miss seeing Eddie and Katherine on screen together, I miss the Fantastic Foursome of Eddie/Katherine/Dan/Alison on-screen together. I want to see more of Mads as Grindelwald despite the controversy surrounding his casting. I love Callum and Jessica and Jude, and want to see more of them.
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azzie-tangerine · 2 years ago
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confession time. That matpat video literally changed my view of the Mario franchise forever and even if I don’t believe it anymore (with age comes wisdom and the realization you were a 10 year old with the media comprehension skills of a soup spoon) it’s like the sole reason I don’t actually like Mario as a character all that much. I was already a Luigi Stan and it just added More Fuel lmfao. So please hit me with the matpat rant I live to see people clown on it
Thing is, I don’t even blame you for that cause a lot of people were like that too 😭
And I would LOVE to write a 5 page rant debunking every point in that video. It’s my dream to. Unfortunately, I am a full time college student with a very small attention span so I hope a mini rant that summarizes my point works instead lmao. Maybe in the future I could do more mini rants to combine into that 5 page rant.
I don’t have anything personal when it comes to Matpat. I followed him at one point as well. But yeah, he does have a problem when it comes to his theories and making people take them too seriously. Yeah, he says “that’s just a theory” at the end of every video (does he still do that??) but when you have a young audience like he does they’re not gonna realize that it’s all good fun, and they’re going to believe any wild theory he makes. Especially when he talks about these theories in such a way that they are FACTS and not theories until the end, using only surface information that could easily be disproved with a good search.
I always thought Mario was the worst example of this. Because not only does Matpat accuse Mario of some really awful things (abusing his brother and yoshi are the two I remember to this day, I’m not going to watch that video again right now) but he also calls him some terms that could be seen as ableist based on how he says it?? Not saying he himself is ableist, this is a decade old video after all. But since I am only studying psychology and not fully educated yet, I’m leaving THOSE thoughts away for now.
The evidence he uses to criminate Mario is there, sure, but the context isn’t. Mario teases Luigi because they are brothers and siblings do that. And we see Mario caring for Luigi a lot, A LOT more than the teasing act. My favorite example is the crossover game between Mario and Rabbids. He goes out of his way to save Luigi first, Peach second. It’s a really sweet scene I recommend watching the opening to that first Mario and Rabbids game if you haven’t.
And him punching Yoshi? The evidence for that was from a pixelated game, and Nintendo staff have literally come out to say that this isn’t true. It was an idea at one point sure, but that idea never got to animating in that game and the art book mentions he is not punching Yoshi.
Anyways I’ll stop myself there, but you see my point lol. Doesn’t help that I am super biased for Mario, I played and still play his games all the time and as a kid genuinely looked up to him as an idol. So yeah, I am not perfect I am a 19 year old woman getting worked up over fan theories. I just love Mario and always have. I love his adventures with Luigi and Peach and Bowser. Nothing can stop me at this point.
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thegracelessfaceless · 3 years ago
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Hi love bug! Thank you so much in advance. Seeing your stuff in my ask box always makes me super happy.
So, I’m Elsie, she/her/hers, and bi (but I lean heavily towards men rn). I’m a Virgo sun, Scorpio rising and Aquarius moon. I’m also an introvert, but I love being around other people! I just get,,,,, tired easily.
I’m East Asian + Southeast Asian (Chinese and Vietnamese). I’m barely 5’0 tall! Long, black hair that reached my upper thighs and dark brown eyes that you can’t even see the pupil lmfao. I always have painted nails, usually red. I’m pretty athletic and I also like to think I have nice thighs—most of my workouts include building up my legs lol. I wear big gold hoop earrings. I also wear round Harry Potter glasses. My body isn’t very curvy, in fact I’m pretty flat but I am COVERED in stretch marks. I also have acne flare ups from time to time but it’s usually nothing noticeable anymore.
I’d like to think I’m a pretty chill person, likes to go with the flow and stuff like that. My friends say I’m often their therapist or their mom, which is kinda funny because that’s what I’m in uni for, to be a therapist. I’m a pretty determined and motivated person? I like to push myself pretty hard ngl but I also like to just hang out and take it slow. I also like to do stupid things like exploring abandoned buildings at 2am. I’m also big into intersectional feminism. I’ve also been told I’m really approachable and friendly, but bro I am so shy and quiet in public unless I get to know you.
I can get pretty stubborn tbh, it depends once again on what the topic is but once I’ve set my mind to it, that’s how it’s going to be. I also have low self esteem and my depression sometimes makes it hard for me to even get out of bed at times. I usually don’t know when to stop giving myself to other people, which means I get pretty exhausted and fast. I’m also prone to overthinking which stresses me out. And when I’m stressed, I can honestly get a little bitey.
I apologize to inanimate objects if I’ve bumped into them, and I also have a tendency to talk to myself? I also am a witch! I’m currently elbows deep in some deity work and ngl my energy is all over the place. I also have a weird habit of waving to security cameras I see in public because I like to think the people watching those cameras get a kick out of it lol.
I really like coffee, tea, singing with my ukulele, playing piano, drawing and art in general. I haven’t been able to draw as much as I’d like recently but I do have some animatics in my head. I also really like Victoria’s Secret perfumes, specifically strawberry pound cake—it’s what I always smell like lol. Crystals are super fun imo. I live next to a huge lake and it’s honestly one of my favorite places to be. Ocean animals are my favorite! I also really like car rides with like, one other person and just exploring the world and talking. The music I listen to is a lot of classic rap, lofi-hip hop, modern rap, some pop artists and Ella Fitzgerald, Gloria Gaynor, HaroinFather, KYLE, and ofc Hollywood Undead.
I cannot stand centipedes those things horrify me. I also don’t like rude people, bigots, people who purposely start drama or hypocrites. People who put other people down aren’t cool either. I don’t really like parties or being around lots of people, they make me anxious and kinda suffocated. People who try to force me to do stuff aren’t cool in my books either. I also think red meat is kinda gross, but that’s just because it makes me exhausted.
Eeeee I am so sorry if this is too much, but thank you so much in advance. Nothing but love to you, and all your future writing and everything you’ve done so far. 💕
Heyy! I almost hit the roof when your follow came in 😅.
So I told myself that Brian and Hoody are disqualified because of obvious bias, but, damn you make it hard!
So, Brian aside, I match you with...
The Puppeteer/Jonathan Blake
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I know, I know, odd choice right?
But you came under his attention, and just when he thought you were getting ready to bend to his will, you'd rally. He found it... Refreshing that you keep fighting, no matter how low you feel.
Of course, he had to be persistent in gaining your trust. You weren't falling for his smooth talking ways. He tried not to use any information gained from his psychic gifts... but if they helped him know something you've really been wanting or something that's bothering him, that's a different story. It took him years to gain your trust and that was only after he slipped and let some of his old self, from before he became The Puppeteer, out. You seemed to prefer that side of him, so he revealed it more frequently.
Jonathan is an introvert too, and like you, being around other people can tire him out. He prefers nights in or long car rides with you with some good but soft music playing.
Jonathan finds it ironic that you want to be a therapist while his main method of feeding is by intensifying depression symptoms. In ways, you've softened him. He'll spare those who seem to have the drive to live. But he views it as a friendly competition of sorts. Like a married couple of lawyers, but one works for the prosecution and the other works for the defense. How many souls can you save verses how many he can take?
Jonathan will listen to every crystal fact you have, and want to know more about your witchiness. He's like a sponge. Throw information at him and he's soaking it up.
Let's gloss over the fact that he can control golden threads from his fingers. I'm sure it'll come up in #just chatting.
Jonathan is a caffeine addict, that and cigarettes are what fueled him when he first went to college. He loves drawing with you over a hot cup of coffee.
Eat what you want, Jonathan doesn't really care. He might take a bite of something every now and then, but he doesn't really need it. This makes it so he finds your scent... Intoxicating.
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hanijunk · 4 years ago
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Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.
Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!
Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO
Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.
Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO
I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol
Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao. 
I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo
I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.
This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).
I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.
THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP
First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck. 
That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).
Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.
Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications. 
Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.
Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma. 
Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential. 
But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.
Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.
If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*
And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL
As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.
Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes! 
Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.
I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more. 
There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.
Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes. 
TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--
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touchstarvedsam · 4 years ago
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I was really gonna ignore that "superior"natural thing but I saw that they seem to have some talented artists. So I thought maybe they are doing something interesting (even if it's destiel) so I checked out their Google doc and omg I'm HOWLING! Eileen calls Sam moosie, Cas calls Dean squirrel. Dean calls Cas kitten, Sam calls Eileen otter. They say it's just a incollection of ideas that might not make it into the project, but you get a sense of what you're dealing with there. And this is from1/?
A brief perusal to see how much attention Sam gets compared to Dean & Cas (a word search gave 27/87/100 results for each respectively, so not too much attention to Sam. But sure, Sam is the favorite character of some of their writers). I'm sure a deeper reading will unearth more (like, Dean saying you are home to Cas, who says we're not at the bunker, Dean replies but you are home. That sounds like something Dean would say. And Dean wishes a tulpa into existence 'cause he misses Cas too much)2/?
They say they want to eliminate plot holes but it seems what's a plot hole depends on whether it serves their ship: purgatory stays (we know they love that arc) even if it makes no sense for Crowley and Cas to go through that much in S6 when apparently there are many ways in and out. Cas, the guy who failed at almost everything he's done, is a "master strategist". Every other retcon of later seasons stays as long as it serves ship purposes. Sam gets his fair share of attention but Dean is the3/?
One who teaches Cas about being human including the textures of food (Sam and Cas pbj moment erasure) and Cas should be the one to teach Jack about his powers (no mention of Sam and Jack's relationship). Other ooc things: Cas rides a bike and when Dean asks says it reminds him of flying. After Cain, Dean takes Cas to the farm for bees (?). Cas and Dean snuggle. Knowing Cas is alive gives demon Dean strength to fight to be cured? Dean speaks enochian to Cas. Cas making a mixtape for Dean. 4/?
Cas being in regarding Dean. "Baby jack walking around in cas’s trench coat going “I’m an angel”." Home alone type ep with Jack. Dean kissing cas's forehead when he's dead in 13.01. Crowley is Jack's godfather and gets him a hellhound pet. Sam has a pet fish? Dean sings you're my sunshine to Cas as he sleeps. "Uncle Gabe". Apparently John dropped Sam and Dean off at Bobby's all the time? I don't think this is canon? Keep 15.18 but change 19&20 (of course). There's no drama or angst like 5/?
Kevin's death or Crowley's death or anything that might add tension to the story. Unless of course it serves the ship so plenty of trauma for Cas including darkness (from the empty) and sharp objects (from Naomi). A small mention of Sam's trauma with Lucifer, thank God, but it's interesting that they have so little Sam. They can say they'll flesh out more arcs for Sam but it's clear he's not a priority from how he's not present where he should be. For example, Dean will explain everything 6/?
To Mary and break her out of her brainwashing. But where's Sam? She's his mother too. Other than Eileen Sam's most meaningful relationship seems to be with his pet fish (still confused about that). Even if this project gets better in the future, which I doubt, it's clear what the direction here is. It baffles me that they think this is superior to the show we have, as problematic as the show is. I wish them best of luck but I don't have any high hopes for this. Thanks for the laughs though. 7/7
Sorry for that long ass rant in your inbox. It's in the middle of the night but I'm cackling after reading their doc and I had to share it with someone. I thought you might find it amusing as well. Hopefully all my asks go through. On the one hand, I feel bad hating on a fan project. But the way they've positioned it ("superior"), the blatant disrespect to Sam, and all the shit their side has pulled since the finale (and long before that) has really irked me. Again, sorry.
I just- this whole thing was a whirlwind of nonsense, it took me a whole week to process it. I don’t even know where to start here, or if I want to just yeet my laptop out my bedroom window into the snow. They really consider their ideas superior to the original show? More like Inferiornatural, to be honest. Superinferiornatural? They can’t even seem to characterize them correctly, let alone come up with a decent plotline or idea.
So we’ll start with the nicknames, since that is where you started. The whole thing is painfully out of character, but the worst (and funniest) of them all is Dean calling Cas “kitten,” I might actually laugh myself into an early grave with that one. Dean gives nicknames to shorten people’s names (besides Sam; Sammy is the only person who gets an extended nickname). He’s not going to give someone a longer nickname than the original nickname he uses for them! And Cas wouldn’t actually give nicknames, especially not giving Dean the nickname Crowley gave him??? Otter?! Moosie?!  W H A T. Can we move on from grade school kiddie crush nicknames?
I’m currently manifesting Dean saying “kitten” in his gruff voice with that lip curl he does sometimes and I’m cracking up about it. Thanks for the amusement, heIIers.
Of course Sam would only be mentioned 27 times to Cas’ 100 because Sam means nothing to them. He’s only ever either been in their way or a cheerleader for that horribly characterized ship of theirs. I just love how, in order to make DestieI, they have to butcher the characters so irreparably that they’re unrecognizable. Good for them, they can’t even have fanfiction of their ship where the characters keep their canon personalities. 10/10 would laugh at again.
I love the Sam erasure. It’s true to the heIIers’ character at least. They’re a one-trick pony. I’m so used to it by now that I’m totally desensitized to their bullshit. But Dean speaking Enochian? What? When and how did he learn that? I can’t see Dean in his 30s sitting there willingly to learn the language of the angels. Not even if his “kitten” is the one to teach him. Dean doesn’t give a fuck about that. If any of them is going to learn Enochian, it’ll be Sam, and they can fight me on that. I will kick anyone’s ass that argues.
I hope the mixtape Cas makes for Dean is just 4 hours of that Spaghetti song by The Wiggles because Cas sucks at doing human things.
I’d love to see the Sam erasure in the Regarding Dean one. Just swap Sam out for Cas? So Cas is the only one Dean recognizes? Hmm. Where would Sam go? A smoothie place? Yeah, as if Dean would remember the angel who he’d barely known for 8 years at that time over Sam who he’d known since he was 4 years old, lol. Sure, Jan.
The entire 5th ask is WILD, nonnie. A pet fish? Dean singing you are my sunshine? Dean kissing Cas’ forehead? LMFAO. Crowley is Jack’s godfather. The KING OF HELL is Jack’s GODfather. I’m- hgfjdksl I’m sure Dean who was ripped apart by hellhounds would love for Jack to have a pet hellhound. Yeah. Absolutely. “Uncle Gabe” yeah, fuck that guy in particular. Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t erased Eileen to make SabrieI endgame in their fic. SabrieI is the Sam version of DestieI. It’s just as nasty and abusive :) which was why the heIIers ship it. They’re into abuse. It’s their shtick.
I do wonder what the point of the fish is... Sam has always loved and wanted a dog... you’d think they’d give Sam a dog... but I forgot they don’t pay attention to the show unless the episode has Mushy in the credits. I literally saw a heIIer say they skipped episodes if Mushy wasn’t in the credits... so they don’t know how to characterize Sam or Dean, but from this message they don’t even know how to characterize Cas who seems to be their precious uwu baby angel so I’m not surprised. I can’t wait for them to start releasing this shitshow. It makes for good fodder to make fun of them all over again. They really watched a grand total of 146 out of 327 episodes and thought, “Yeah, my opinion about the show definitely matters,” and I think that’s fucking hilarious.
Sorry for taking so long to respond! Hope I did a good job, nonnie. <3
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sonnetthebard · 3 years ago
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can you do a oneshot with peip spy paul and secret ccrp boss melissa? (yeah this is cause of the stuff sent to hatchetfieldtheories so what lmfao)
Um hell yeah I will! I have read the original theory, but you're also going to get my take on it because I got ideas just by reading the prompt lol. Apparently @hatchetfieldtheories and I are now getting lumped together and I am perfectly okay with that.
Genre: Action/ Thriller kinda?
Words: 2727 (once again... perfect)
TL;DR: Paul's cover as a PEIP agent is blown, and he finally gets to meet exactly who he's fighting against.
TW: Swearing, Guns, Violence, Murder, Blood.
______________________________________________________
Paul sighed, reading over his report before he sent it in. Was the report work related? No. Well... yes and no. Not for his job at CCRP technical. But as an agent of PEIP? It held information that could be absolutely crucial to the work they were doing. So it kind of had to be perfect. One mistype, a spelling mistake, could change the entire context of how it was read and how his superiors reacted. Perfection was key. Especially with what he had found. God, had he found out a lot.
Paul hadn't originally worked for PEIP. No. No, it was a bit of a long story. But... to sum it up, Paul had been caught dead in the centre of a world-ending event. An attack from what had looked like aliens at first but was actually an entity named Pokotho- or Pokey. Paul had very nearly died. He'd almost caused the end of the world. He had almost thrown a grenade dead into the centre of the meteor that was playing host to Pokey and his hivemind formula- which would have simply spread the spores. Luckily, one PEIP field agent- a Xander Lee- had managed to keep himself safe while his unit was infected, and he was able to stop Paul before he made a world-ending mistake.
Xander, through a lot of science Paul did *not* understand, was able to send Pokey back into his own dimension. The world was saved. It still kind of felt like a sci-fi fever dream. Most days, it still didn't feel real. The Hive had healed those it had destroyed, so... most people came back. Not Charlotte or Sam, because they weren't technically killed by the Hive. But Ted, Bill, Alice, Deb, Emma, and even Hidgens were back completely unscathed. Paul and Emma had actually gotten a chance to go to that movie. They were dating now. For three months, to the day. Paul had a bouquet of roses ready to surprise her with after work. He knew she wasn't usually big on the sappy romance stuff, but... he kinda was.
It was about a week after what was now widely known as the 'apotheosis' had passed when Paul got an email from Xander asking a favour. A very classified favour. Since Paul knew about PEIP and what it stood for. Apparently, they'd been picking up suspicious activity from CCRP for months, and they'd been trying to figure out which of their agents to send undercover. But every alias they'd made up had been rejected for an interview. So Xander got the idea that since Paul worked there, maybe he could keep an eye out for them. And as dangerous as it seemed... Paul said yes. The work PEIP did was too important to risk delaying. He was briefed through text, and he learned his job online in a matter of days. Ever since, he had been PEIP's agent in CCRP. And PEIP was more than right to be concerned.
Paul hummed, satisfied with his report. It was concise, precise, and detailed everything he'd seen. Which was a lot. This week... this week, he'd finally made his breakthrough. He was able to sneak to a higher level. Sylvia's level. She was talking on the phone about temporal breaches, trans-dimensional fluctuations, and lots of other jargon he didn't even come close to understanding. He'd bugged her office with a microphone PEIP had sent him so that they would understand more clearly. And when he'd snuck to the lower level, he was finally able to get past that second level of security. And what he'd found there was... eerie. He hadn't gone in. He just looked through the window. But it appeared there were hundreds, if not thousands, of... himself. Just standing there. He'd left a camera. Needless to say the report was more than full of information.
Paul heard the click of heels behind him and he quickly pressed send, closing the tab. He faked looking through his analytics before the clicking stopped. Paul could practically feel the presence looming behind him. At first, he just kept working as if he didn't notice. But... then it started to bug him. Because whoever the heeled coworker was who had stopped behind him was, they hadn't moved yet. He slowly turned, trying not to show any nerves. But he was a terrible liar, so he had a feeling that wasn't working. In front of him stood... oh good, Melissa. He sighed in relief.
"Hey Melissa. How's it going?" Paul asked.
"I need to see you for a moment... in Mr. Davidson's office." Melissa told him shyly.
"You need to see me?" Paul asked, still getting up nonetheless. This was Melissa. She was a sweetheart. She probably had a computer problem.
"Yeah... don't worry, it won't take of your much time." Melissa bit her lip, walking away. Paul followed.
"Did Davidson's computer crash because of that solitaire again?" Paul guessed.
"Um... no. No, this isn't about Mr. Davidson's computer." Melissa chuckled nervously.
"Uh oh... Paul's getting called to the principal's office!" Ted taunted teasingly.
"Shut up, Ted!" Bill groaned. "I'm trying to finish my report! Can I not have peace for five minutes?"
"You can... if you move to another department." Ted smirked. Paul only knew he was smirking because Ted had popped his head over the cubicle to watch him go by.
"I'm not in any trouble." Paul rolled his eyes. "Go back to what you were doing."
"Alright, alright!" Ted snickered, raising his hands defensively and lowering back into the cubicle.
"Sorry about him." Paul sighed, seeing the way Melissa blushed. "I swear he's not as much of an asshole as he seems most of the time."
"Oh, it's fine." Melissa shrugged. She walked into Davidson's office. Suddenly, her demeanor completely switched. "Ken, I'm going to need this office for a minute."
"What?" Paul blinked, his heart immediately sinking to his stomach. There was a pit in his stomach, and it was growing by the minute.
"Sure thing, Mel." Mr. Davidson nodded, getting up and walking out of the office.
"What's going on?" Paul asked, though there was no one specifically he was speaking to. He was just very confused.
"Why don't we sit?" Melissa offered, confidence oozing off of her as she took Davidson's seat behind the desk.
"Um... okay." Paul nodded warily, taking a seat. "Melissa..."
"Let me do the talking for now, Paul." Melissa sighed, leaning forward on the desk.
"Alright." Paul blushed, already intimidated. Yeah, he was totally agent material.
"You probably think you've been pretty slick, don't you?" Melissa chuckled lowly, looking at the cowering bundle of nerves before her. "Slipping bugs all over the facilities, sending your little reports while you're supposed to be writing reports for us... quite the secret agent, aren't you?"
"I... don't know what you're talking about." Paul lied.
"Paul, you're not that bright." Melissa scoffed. "In all your stealth and espionage, you seem to have forgotten that we have security cameras."
"On those floors?" Paul blinked. "I... didn't see any feed from them when I checked."
"Well we're not going to stream it to where anyone can see it!" Melissa rolled her eyes. "And you know exactly why."
"Yeah... yeah, I probably shouldn't have just assumed..." Paul sighed.
"So you admit it then? You're a spy?" Melissa checked.
"Well... yeah. Yeah I am." Paul sighed.
"For PEIP?" Melissa clarified.
"Who?" Paul tried to lie again.
"Paul, you used our network to send your files." Melissa rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, but I followed their..." Paul muttered.
"Which we're well aware of here, and well aware of how to overrule." Melissa sighed. "Really, Paul... you're sloppy."
"I'm not trained." Paul blushed.
"I figured as much." Melissa scoffed. "So they pulled you over to the dark side?"
"They saved my life during the apotheosis..." Paul shrugged. "When they told me something might be up here, I knew I had to help. And they were right, Melissa. Stuff is going on here."
"I know." Melissa smirked. "I oversee it all."
"You?" Paul raised his brows, a bit taken aback.
"Me." Melissa smirked. "You're probably thinking it's a bit weird... me, being in charge, choosing to take on the role of a secretary."
"I'm honestly just trying to wrap my head around you being in charge in general." Paul muttered.
"You want to know why?" Melissa asked. It was, of course, rhetorical. "It's actually pretty simple. The CCRP Technical department had some good cloning candidates. I wanted to be close to the action. Hand-pick who we used. And who would ever suspect anything of the shy, sweet secretary? You certainly didn't."
"So you hand-picked me?" Paul blinked in shock. He was doing a lot of that.
"You're a good size, amiable personality... smart enough, though evidently no genius." Melissa reasoned. "You, in mass, would make a great crew of workers for the Moon Project."
"Moon Project?" Paul asked.
"Oh, you've barely scratched the surface on what we're doing here, Paul." Melissa chuckled darkly. "But you won't be getting any further."
"What are you going to do to me?" Paul shrugged, a faux confidence in his tone. "There are people out there who know me. If I just go missing, they're going to get suspicious."
"Oh... Paul, you think I would tell you?" Melissa started to laugh. "You're so sweet! No. No, we won't be doing anything to you right now. But... let's just say PEIP won't be getting any reports from you in the near future."
"You brought me here just to tell me that?" Paul asked apprehensively. "To gloat?"
"Just to let you know that we knew, yes." Melissa sighed, she pulled out a cellphone, diverting most of her attention to it. "I like to deal with things myself. Handle things face-to-face."
"What are you doing?" Paul asked, a pit growing in his stomach as he watched the way she tapped at the screen.
"Wouldn't you like to know..." Melissa mumbled. "Go home, Paul. Take the rest of the night off. Go to your girlfriend's coffee shop. Bring her the flowers. Happy three months, by the way."
"I want to know what you're doing." Paul stated firmly. Melissa looked up at him before starting to laugh.
"Well isn't that just too fucking bad!" Melissa snickered. "Go. Before I call Ken back in and make you go."
"Okay..." Paul relented, getting up. He looked her dead in the eyes. "If PEIP is concerned about the work here, so am I. This isn't over."
"Yes it is, Paul." Melissa sighed. "Have a nice life."
"Life?" Paul blinked, freezing in the doorway.
"Sorry, did I say life?" Melissa chuckled. "I meant night."
"Right..." Paul bit his lip, admittedly uneasy. He tried to walk silently back to his cubicle... but with Ted Spankoffski around, there was no way he was getting out of this unscathed.
"So, did you get fired?" Ted popped up.
"Nope. Everything is fine. Davidson just needed a bit of help with his computer." Paul lied.
"Shit, he told me I'd be able to fix it next time!" Ted grumbled. "Is he giving you a bonus for it?"
"Nope. It was just a favour." Paul sighed.
"Damn... you fucking pushover." Ted snickered.
"Yeah, I get it, I let people walk all over me." Paul rolled his eyes. He picked up the bouquet of flowers from his cubicle, continuing to walk for the door.
"Hey, where are you going?" Ted furrowed his brows.
"As a thank you, he's letting me off early. So I can surprise Emma." Paul smirked. "We've been dating for three months to the day."
"Yeah you have... give her butt an extra squeeze for me, horndog." Ted teased. Paul blushed.
"Fuck you!" He called back, making his way out the door.
Paul felt something off the minute he stepped outside the CCRP building. Something deep in his bones. He physically shuddered under the weight of it, but... what could he do but keep walking. Yeah... yeah, it was probably just him feeling uneasy after the conversation he'd just had, right? Right... he was okay. Everything was okay. They were probably just gonna put a block on his communications with PEIP. No biggie. He'd survive it. He'd figure out another way to spy, and to get his findings to Xander. Everything was going to be just fine. He was going to be just fine.
He rounded a corner, walking across the street to Beanies. Just as he was about to reach for the door handle he felt a hand cover his mouth and another wrap around his waist, pulling him back. He tried shouting and screaming, but it was muffled. He resisted as much as he possibly could, but this person was stronger than him. Finally, they stopped in an alley, and the hand was removed from his mouth. Paul took a few deep breaths, setting the flowers down and raising his hands in surrender. At about the same time, he felt cool metal pressed to his temple. What a time to be mugged.
"I don't have anything on me to give to you. I used all my cash at lunch. All that's in my wallet is my driver's license." Paul stated levelly. "Believe me. You've got the wrong guy."
"No, Paul... I haven't." An almost identical voice sighed behind him. Paul blinked in confusion. He made a very, very stupid move and turned in the man's arms while his grip was a bit looser. He found himself staring dead in the eyes at... himself. His eyes widened. "You have everything I've ever wanted."
"You..." Paul breathed, before becoming suddenly very aware of the metal on his head. He took a sideways glance, seeing that it was a gun. He had thought it was, just... best to be sure. "Please. Please, you don't have to do this."
"Yes I do. It's either this or the moon, and... I don't want to go to the moon." The other Paul told him, voice shaky. He moved his finger to the trigger, hesitating. "Thank you. For the memories. For giving me the life I'm about to live."
Bang! There was smoke, and then a thud. Paul- the original one- fell to the ground, limp and lifeless. The death was almost instant, just as Paul 23 had predicted that it would be. He'd let go at the right time... and he hadn't gotten any blood on himself. It really had been his day! His cell malfunctioned and opened for him. Then he found the gun just... hanging there on the rack. He was free and armed, and ready to carry out everything he had fantasized about since he was made! It was like the stars had aligned for him! And as a cherry on top... Paul had even brought flowers. If the memories planted in his head were any indication, it was his and Emma's three-month-iversary. These would be absolutely perfect!
He stepped over his lifeless counterpart, rushing to get to the flowers before the puddle of blood forming by Paul's head got to them. he picked up the flowers tenderly, grinning. He took a look one final time at the original Paul, the the flowers. He set the flowers down, picking up Paul and propping him on a dumpster. He pulled out a small chip, slipping it in the appropriate place under his tongue. The finishing touch to his plan. Now... they would think this Paul was him. That he'd managed to erase his tattoo. He tossed the Paul in a CCRP marked dumpster, sighing.
He picked the flowers back up, walking out of the alley. God, this was great! He was about to finally step into the life that was rightly his. His brothers, the other clones, would kill to be him. But of course he wasn't actually going to let them kill him. No, unlike the real Paul, he knew to always be on the lookout. He knew he would never be safe. But for now... was it ever going to be worth it. He walked up to the door at Beanies, walking in. He saw Emma at the counter, and... he couldn't hide his excitement. He beamed, grinning widely. Like a small child. He walked up to her, holding the flowers out for the love of his life.
"Hey, Emma... Happy Three Months!"
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generallynerdy · 4 years ago
Text
I wonder if he can taste the sadness (Ahsoka Tano & Anakin Skywalker & Rex)
Summary: Ahsoka motions for the younglings to stay behind what little cover she was able to provide as the door wheezes open. She pokes her head out just enough to see and— “Master!” she cries, leaping up. Anakin is at the door, his lightsaber in his hand but unlit. He looks mildly surprised to see her, but takes her hug without hesitation. “Thank the Force,” she breathes out. “We heard blasters and then Master Nu told us to hide. What’s happening?” In her embrace, Anakin is unmoved. She frowns, looking up at him. “Master?”
Warnings: major character death, lightsaber wounds, lots of children die but only one is shown, canon genocide, canon divergence but only to make it sadder Word Count: 1,826
Prompt: Angstpril Day 4 - Betrayal
Author’s Note: WOWWW why do I do this to myself lmfao. I was like ‘oh hey what if Ahsoka was in the Temple during Order 66 would that suck or what’ and then I. Wrote it. For some reason. I’m sick and twisted. Also, not to make you sadder or anything, but can you imagine Obi-Wan finding her body? Shit dude. Anyway, you might think Anakin wouldn’t go to the dark side if the whole Ahsoka thing hadn’t happened, but, like...he already murdered a village of Tuskens before the Clone Wars. I do not doubt that it would’ve happened somehow. I know this is super late but I wanna get all my Angstpril stuff written down no matter how late it is or else I’m gonna feel terrible about it. Title is from My Mother, My Mother by Luther Hughes. (Also, Jinnel, the Kiffar, and her future Master are my ocs. Zett is a canon character but he has barely any appearances so, uh, dibs.)
Read on AO3
*
“Master Nu! I was just looking for you in the archives.”
Ahsoka bears a wide smile as the old Master of the archives turns to her. The young Padawan, though not so young now she thinks, bears a couple of datapads, old ones she’d borrowed before her last assignment.
“Ah, Padawan Tano. Apologies, but I’m a bit occupied at the moment.”
She gestures behind her, where a youngling Clan chatters excitedly. At the sight of Ahsoka, one Nautolan girl lights up and turns to her friend, whispering furiously.
Ahsoka smiles and waves a little, getting a few waves back. “Sorry, Master, I didn’t realise. I can come back later,” she offers.
“That’s quite alright.” Master Nu waves her off. “Just leave it on my desk, and I—”
She stops. Her gaze drifts to the far end of the hallway, but when Ahsoka follows it, she finds nothing there. She’s about to ask what’s wrong, but then she feels it, too: a roil of darkness and fear.
“What is that?” she whispers, unmoving.
The younglings finally notice, a long moment after their seniors, and begin speaking frantically.
“Is the Temple under attack?”
“What do we do, Master Nu?”
“What’s happening?”
“I have to go find my Master!”
With a raised hand, Master Nu silences them all. “Quiet.” Quickly glancing around, she spots a meditation room with an open door. “Quickly, into the meditation room. Padawan Tano, watch our backs.”
“Yes, Master.”
The younglings file into the room obediently, still whispering to one another. One girl, a young Kiffar, bursts into tears, so Ahsoka pulls her aside immediately.
“My Master left to go to the Senate Building,” the Initiate blubbers. “She doesn’t know we’re in danger! I have to find her!”
(She’s too young to have a Master, Ahsoka realises, and doesn’t have a Padawan braid. The Master must’ve found her on a Search and bonded with her.)
“See if you can contact her on your comm, but you need to stay here until we know what’s going on, okay?”
She shakes her head. “I can’t leave her!”
“I understand. My Master is out there somewhere, too,” Ahsoka tries to reassure. “But I can’t let you leave alone, either. As soon as it’s safe, we’ll go find her together.”
The Initiate wipes at her eyes and nods, following the rest of her clan into the meditation room. Ahsoka looks back to Master Nu, who is glancing down the hall with wide, horrified eyes. Something has pulled in the Force.
Someone skids to a stop around the corner.
It’s a young human boy, a Padawan that Ahsoka has seen trailing behind Master Drallig for the last few weeks. On his sleeve, a scorch mark has burned through the fabric to his skin: a blaster wound.
At the sight of Master Nu and Ahsoka, his face twists in relief and he runs toward them.
“Zett,” Master Nu breathes out, taking his arm as soon as he’s close. “What’s going on?”
Through panting breaths, he speaks the impossible. “The clones—the clones are killing us!” he cries. “They got Master Drallig and I can’t find the Council—”
“What?” Ahsoka questions fiercely. “What are you talking about?”
“I know you won’t believe me, but I really saw it! It’s the 501st, they have their armour and everything and they’re killing everybody—!”
Master Nu squeezes his uninjured shoulder. “Breathe, Padawan. I believe you.”
“What!?” Ahsoka turns on her. “They would never—!”
“It may be someone else in that armour, but you know he’s telling the truth, Ahsoka. You can feel it,” she says warningly. “Don’t let emotion cloud your instincts.”
She backs down, but her chest tightens. “Yes, Master,” she says quickly.
“How many of them are there?”
“All of them. Master Drallig—” Zett chokes on his name. “—he told me to go to the landing pad, to get out and find help.”
“I’ll go with you!”
Ahsoka jumps when the young Kiffar reappears, running up to Zett.
“I’m a good tracker,” she says quickly, “and I know where my Master’s going! We can find her!”
Zett looks to Master Nu at the same time she does, uncertainty in his bright eyes. The old archivist casts her gaze to the end of the hall, where the chaos is starting to get louder. With a deep breath, she kneels before the younglings, a hand on each of their shoulders.
“Do not stop, especially for anyone in clone armour. Don’t trust anyone you don’t recognise and whatever you do, do not return to the Temple until you are given the all-clear, do you understand?” When they both nod, she reaches for their hands and presses them together, letting Zett take the girl’s. Master Nu gives him a firm look. “Hold onto each other. Do not let go. This is not a game.”
“Yes, Master,” they say at the same time, equally shaky.
She stands. “Go.”
The pair run off, Zett tugging the Kiffar girl closer to him as they dash down the hall. Ahsoka watches them go, waiting until they’re around the corner to turn her attention back to Master Nu, who has apparently done the same. Before she can speak, the archivist puts a hand on her shoulder as well.
“Stay with the younglings. Lock the door behind you and defend them with your life,” she instructs.
The girl’s eyes widen. “What? You’re leaving?”
“If the Temple is being attacked, there are things I have to do,” is her grim reply. “No one can get their hands on the archives, Padawan, no one. I’ll come find you when I get the chance.”
If I get the chance. The thought is there, though unspoken.
Steeling herself, Ahsoka swallows roughly but nods. “Yes, Master.”
With a glance over the Padawan’s shoulder, Master Nu lowers her voice. “Above all, make sure they make it out.”
“May the Force be with you,” she says quietly, a hope more than a comfort.
Master Nu smiles, a little sad, a little proud. “It is always with us, Ahsoka. It is always with you. Be brave.”
Her words echo in the young Togruta’s mind even as she departs. When she finally pulls herself together, she rushes into the meditation room, counting heads and closing the door behind her. She enters a code to lock it down completely before turning back to her charges.
“I need you all to listen carefully and do exactly as I say, okay?”
There are scattered nods and ‘yes, Padawan Tano’s, so she gives out instructions.
They build barricades throughout the room, providing cover for themselves. Initiates with lightsabers pair up with those without and the latter group gets a few weapons from Ahsoka. Her clone troopers—the ones killing Jedi—gave her quite a few vibroblades and pocket blasters over the years and she’s kept them all. It’s more than a little useful right now, she thinks as she hands them to the younglings.
“Keep your heads down and trust in the Force,” Ahsoka orders, ducking behind a gathering of meditation chairs and tables with three Initiates. She places a hand on the shoulder of the youngest, a small Mirialan with teary eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”
Footsteps thunder from the hallway outside. The younglings fall silent in an instant, poised for battle.
Something catches in Ahsoka’s chest. They’re ready for this. They’re children and terrified but they’re ready for a fight. Is this what her Master used to feel when he looked at her, 14 standard and standing on the front lines? Like something was desperately wrong with this picture?
“The scanners indicate life forms in this room, sir.”
Ahsoka freezes.
It sounds like a clone, though she can't place who. Could Zett have been right? Are the clones—the 501st, of all battalions—turning against them? What in the Force would make them do that? Something here is horribly, horribly wrong.
There's some beeping on the other side of the wall and someone out there must have the codes, because the door starts to slide open.
Ahsoka motions for the younglings to stay behind what little cover she was able to provide as the door wheezes open. She pokes her head out just enough to see and—
“Master!” she cries, leaping up.
Anakin is at the door, his lightsaber in his hand but unlit. He looks mildly surprised to see her, but takes her hug without hesitation.
“Thank the Force,” she breathes out. “We heard blasters and then Master Nu told us to hide. What’s happening?”
In her embrace, Anakin is unmoved.
She frowns, looking up at him. “Master?”
Light washes over her, the stark blue of his lightsaber being lit. She glances down to get a look at where he’s pointing it, what he could possibly be defending her from in a room of younglings. But then pain strikes her abdomen, squeezing her lungs. A choked gasp drags itself from her lips and she finally sees it.
The saber in her chest. Anakin’s saber in her chest.
A youngling screams and blaster fire echoes throughout the room, but Ahsoka can’t see what happens. She can’t even cry out for the Initiates she was meant to protect. All she can do is look back up at him.
His expression is blank, untouched by her apparent agony. He stares down at her with those yellow eyes—
Yellow eyes?
Her mouth falls open a little, her legs wobbling. She loses her balance, falling into him. And he catches her. There isn’t any sort of purpose to the movement, but he catches her.
He has yellow eyes.
Ahsoka thinks of Dooku, of his last moments spent glaring at her and her Master, those burning yellow eyes. She thinks of his red lightsaber fitting perfectly into Anakin’s hand and how nauseous she’d become at the sight.
“Anakin?”
It’s weak, hardly there. She doesn’t even know if he hears it.
And then she’s falling, falling to the floor. He drops her, lets her crumble underneath him, unable to hold herself up.
He walks away.
Breathing raggedly, Ahsoka wants to reach out, wants to grab the bottom of his robe before he can leave her. But her hands won’t cooperate, her entire body screaming at the scorched wound she bears.
The meditation room has fallen silent, leaving the troopers to follow after Anakin. They start to leave, but one notices she’s still breathing, still trying to move.
He lifts his blaster and she finally sees him.
“Rex,” she breathes out.
The jaig eyes on his helmet, carefully painted, give him away instantly. He lifts his pistols and she wants to cry. She doesn’t have the strength for even that. But she doesn’t need any strength to see that his hands are shaking. Ahsoka will never know what’s going on in his head, what’s driving him to lift his blasters in her direction. All she knows is that his hands are shaking.
“It’s okay, Rex,” she says, sounding far from it. “It’s okay.”
He fires.
*
River’s Tags: @hahaboop & @mystoragehatesme
Reblogs are better than likes and deeply appreciated!
If you tag this as an Ahsoka ship, I will block you so fast.
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years ago
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from an anon, about parents and school
(it's just long, that's why it's under a break XD)
here's my proposition: make parents understand that not every child should conform to whatever traditional career paths that exist. as an asian, i could feel the pressure to take science like a fucking boulder on my body. i have to rant a bit.
i am the younger sibling, my brother is two years elder to me. i was never instilled any curiosity in anything science related, i was kinda left all by myself lol. my brother tho, maybe because he was older or because he was a guy (yeah LMFAO), was encouraged AND involved in a LOT of coding, mechanix (its a construct-ur-own-stuff thing).
i guess i never really noticed until i was leaving middle school, that i was not as smart as him, and would probably never be. but i had other strengths he didnt have. i love writing, im pretty good at it. i am analytical and subejctive, i like thinking and making conclusions about things. i mean i guess i've figured out what i could be better at, right? but the problem?
its that my parents dont see it. its as if they dont know me or they DO know me and are just forcing the things they need onto me. it feels selfish of them to completely forgo my actual strengths. like YES OK i UNDERSTAND i can never be as smart as my brother, but u dont have to pretend like i can. because pretending that i can achieve whatever he has, is just going to affect YOU. because i have accepted long ago that some things arent for me.
they think i dont want to put effort into anything i do. that im lazy and want the easy way out. god, every time they say this i want to honestly show them that its the things IM interested in, where i put in the work. its so belittling.
ive written articles abt bts, their music, about how carl jungs theory of archetypes and i occasionally ask a lot of questions about the world to you (hi lol). i just dont get why they want me to waste energy on something im clearly uninterested in.
short answer, point to BTS and say, "They're Asian, they make tons of money. Leave me alone."
just kidding XD
If I'm being serious, I don't think they will change their mind. They will continue to force their ideals onto you, because they believe in certain career paths had assured success and that is what they are after. They either want you to make a certain amount of money, have a certain status in life, or simply know that you can obtain a stable job. To be honest, these are not really traditional career paths at all if you think about it. Becoming a doctor takes many, many years and it is hard ass work. Parents just make it seem as if these are the only jobs available to you, even if you know it's not true.
Men vs women in Asian countries, well, I feel everyone knows this, but many Asian parents born in their respective countries put more effort into their sons than daughters. Firstborn son? He probably walks on water to them XD
I understand what you mean when you say your parents do not understand. This might sound egotistical (it does now that I'm writing it, I am very sorry) but I was the one in my family who got the best grades. None of my siblings got better grades than me (basically I had a 4.0 from middle school to university), and do you think with all that I would be immune?
Nope.
I am good at the sciences and I am good at the humanities as well. I had an interest in reading, writing, and drawing. Reading fiction, I could pass it off to educate myself. Writing? I could pass it off as something for school. But drawing?
Woo, boy.
This was a constant fight. I do not back down (a rebel, wcyd) and I drew and it would get ripped apart. I drew and it would get torn up and thrown away. I drew and and would be beaten, yelled at, constantly belittled for my interest in it even though I was good at the sciences and math. To my mom (my dad doesn't count, he had zero interest in parenting) - if she did not think it was going to make money in the future, it was useless. If I could not spin it into profit, I should not be doing it (very fun childhood I had, yes). The most ironic thing is, after I became an adult, she suggested I start drawing again and sell it to make money.
Hello?
You literally forced me to stop drawing because you constantly connected it with negativity???
(not now, I have since stopped talking to her and started drawing again and it is purely for myself, not to show anyone else, I do not even post it on social media or show anyone irl)
Not saying your parents will act like mine, btw, only sharing my experience.
The idea that you'll never be as smart as your brother? That's bullshit lol. That's like saying intelligence is only valuable if it's science or math, which, as you know, is not true. You are you. He is himself. It is not you cannot do those things. It is that those things are not what you want to focus on. You have a limited amount of time in this life and you have chosen the things you want to delve into and explore.
You don't have to be good at everything. Everything is just not good enough for you.
I am of the mindset that you should try and learn everything you can about this world. I love learning, personally. I think knowing everything I know, from the humanities to the sciences, enriches my life and gives me a broader perspective.
But I totally understand how you feel, because being pushed into something makes you end up hating it. Parents push their kids to learn this or that and kids end up resenting schoolwork because it doesn't feel like something they wanna do anymore. It's just adults yapping in their ears and it feels pointless. Grades aren't everything. You think anyone cares that I aced Physics with Calculus I and II as an adult? LMAO, no one gives a shit. You passed, good enough XD
Here's how I think you should treat school. It's not the content that matters. It's you understanding how you learn each subject. Every subject is different and how you learn them is different. It is not because you are bad at the subject, it is because you haven't figured out the best learning style for you. Teachers have to teach a mass of students and, yes, I understand this seems very tedious to have to "teach yourself".
The skill in learning to learn becomes so, so valuable as an adult. It is how you maintain interest in things, how you develop new interests, and how will come to find meaning (in whatever you want to focus on finding meaning for). I'm not saying that you will be able to find your perfect learning style in every subject, but I am encouraging you to simply see it in that light.
And, you might find certain things to be not that important to you, in which case, just pass the class, it's totally fine if it's not going to help you for the career path you're going for XD Nobody asks me about the themes of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (tbh, a pair of overdramatic loons) or how I feel about Sigmund Freud (actually a twat, but that's neither here nor there).
Let them talk. That one that walks your path is you. Focus on what you want to focus on. They are set in their ways and they way to show them there are different paths is to walk them.
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kareofbears · 4 years ago
Text
persona 5 strikers thoughts and feelings
This is going to be a long post. Like, the type of post you’d only really have time to read when you’re trying to sleep but you’re not ready to be unconscious yet so you’re just looking for something to do to spend your time with minimal effort. 
So in 2018, a masterpiece was born into the world: Into the Spider-verse was released and it was amazing—it’s honestly the best spiderman movie we have without a doubt, and it’ll be very far into the future before Spider-verse is beaten as the best spiderman movie. Them’s the facts. Then in 2019, Spider-man: Far From Home was dropped. It’s a great movie! Great characters, great continuation of who these characters are and works fantastic as a continuation of a story. It’s really hard trying to take the torch of a previous movie (or in Marvel’s case, juggling twenty something movies) and come up with a new movie that both works on its own, as well as being the next step in this series of films. Thus, with that idea in mind, I think it’s kind of unfair to judge into the spiderverse and far from home, because these are two movies with two completely different objectives in mind. 
Okay, so this is still a persona 5 strikers post, I promise, but the idea is the same: Persona 5 could basically do whatever it wanted—new story, new characters, new everything, and it’s just plain old awesome. However, Persona 5 strikers did not have that sort of freedom. It was bound to the original game, and it had its own rules and stuff it had to keep intact, characters they had to work with, and on top of that, it had to justify its existence as a sequel (lets pretend money doesnt exist lmfao). 
SO, the big question is: did it do that? Did it justify its existence? 
And my answer: holy fuck did it ever do that
I came into this game knowing the extreme bare minimum. I knew there was someone named Sophia, and i knew there was roadtrip, and i knew there were Personas. That’s my knowledge of it before i played it on the Switch.  I should also clarify like, early on, that i was not expecting anything from this game. At all. I was the world’s biggest cynic of this game—if you scroll down my p5s tag far enough, youll just see me complaining about a game that hasn’t even come out yet. I was fully expecting to have this be a Waifu show, and any male character that isn’t Akira to just be shoved aside like some kind of nerd in a high school hallway, and i have never been more pleased to be wrong. In fact, i actually owe it an apology, because of how fucking rude i was for no reason!!! Because this game deserves everything to be honest. 
Persona 5 strikers is, frankly, insane. Insane in the sense that it got to pull shit off that just would never have existed in the original game, because the original game is scared. It had to be as impressive as possible and garner as much attention as possible. Strikers does not have that problem—every single person who bought that game does not need to be convinced that persona 5 is a good game. They already played it. That means Atlus can just fuck around and have a good time, and man did they have a good time. There’s still scenes that still shock me if i think about it too hard, because i’m used to atlus having to follow this sort of rule set when it comes to persona 5 (or any of the main games im assuming, but i havent played them.) And on top of that, there’s still shit that’s Atlus Trademarked Branded in a good way. The style of story of story telling, and revealing the mystery that is so integral to what p5 is, is still there. 
So, to make this even a little bit comprehensible, i will make a list! 
First of all, What is this game?
In short, this game is an OVA of an anime. It’s bonus side content that has one thing in mind: to showcase these lovable characters more by putting them in fun situations. That’s it, and it is just phenomenal. That was the main point of, i’d say, like forty hours of the game. It’s just fun times with fun characters. 
But to get deeper of what i think is happening, or what they were thinking during the development, is that this is a second opportunity. Persona 5 (as we all know) had a lot of problems, and we were not quiet about those problems. We yelled it all out, made posts, made complaints on every social media platform ever. And Atlus heard all of them, and Strikers is a way to mitigate those mistakes. Aside from being a fun OVA, Strikers also works to be a deeper exploration of these characters—more specifically, the characters that did not receive much in the original game. Creating this sequel is having the ability to redo what they felt (or to be more specific, we felt) in the original game while adding new ones. I will get to that in a second.  
The format of the game 
Absolutely brilliant to throw them on a road trip. P5V already forced us to experience Shibuya for 200+ hours, and im so glad that they didn’t do that again. Going from town to town, making us experience these new places alongside our favorite characters is so good, and it just makes sense. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted, and it’s actually shockingly good. But one thing i do want to talk about early on is the way the story unfolds and the villains that they use, and what they do with it because it’s very interesting. 
So as we explore japan and stuff, we encounter jails, and with those jails comes an antagonist. This antagonist works to be a parallel to one of our characters. That character will find it in their hearts to feel bad for the antagonist, because the antagonist could have been them had the original game not happen. At first I thought all of the thieves were gonna get an antagonist, and i was really hyped for the ryuji one. And then came to hour forty of the game where i realized “yeah that’s not gonna happen. There’s just not enough time.” And i was right, and the game ended. But i am not salty at all, honestly, because the people who got a direct antagonist were: Ann, Yusuke, and Haru. (we wont count zen and sophie). 
Is there a trend??? Yes. these are all characters in the original game that have received the worst treatment by atlus. The three of them are basically cast aside the minute they finished their original arc, and its horrible! BUT that’s why this is the path that atlus chose for them—to give them more depth, and screentime, and a way to show their inner self. That isn’t to say that the ones who aren’t those three (makoto, futaba, mona, akira, ryuji) didn’t get anything. Futaba still has her thing at the end with ichinose, and she was very prevalent and animated during the rest of the game. Mona and Akira have to be a focal points, that’s just the nature of the game. The other two though, I will talk about in depth in a second.  
Makoto
Y’all i poke fun at shumako fans sometimes cause its kind of easy and fun, but i honestly love makoto. In my very first playthrough of p5 (my first ever jrpg game, first persona game, i had no idea what i was doing), i had only maxed out two characters: ryuji and makoto. And i know she had a lot of screentime and love in the original game which is great, but i truly felt like she was dissed in this game. Her only roles were
A driver
Someone to tell them “we don’t have a choice. Let’s keep going and see where this takes us.” (seriously, if you replay this game, you will see how much she does this)
Idk, i just wish she had more to do, especially compared to how much love they gave the other characters. 
But let’s talk about some of the new characters! 
Zenkichi
Damn you atlus. Damn you and your insistence at bringing in cop characters. I was fully on board with hating zenkichi, i was fucking ready for it. I was convinced that there was nothing they could do convince to like zenkichi. I was immune to their copaganda. 
And then i ended up loving him, which makes me sad a little bit. I didn’t realize how desperate i was to have an adult who has a persona. Someone who wants the world to change just as much as they do, while still having that aspect of them that makes them adult. Like??? As someone who is technically an adult, its a breath of fresh air. An adult. Who fights. For justice. Using a persona. And god i love akane so much, and her obsession with the thieves (that scene is probably in my top ten fave scenes of the game). Also what i loved about zenkichi is that he fucking hates the cops!! He hates the system of the cops!! And thats why i actually really started to love him!! Because i thought it was atlus saying that the systematic problem of the police cannot be solved by one person, and zenkichi threw away his badge. I actually cried at that part!! 
But then he became a cop again, and i was just :/ but as a character, i really love him to bits and would love to do a study on him, or at least use him as an outside pov. But! i absolutely love his persona, since im a les miserables fan hehe
Sophia 
she’s probably my favorite new aspect of the game. I was ready to not like her—again, i just suck like that, lmfao—and when i saw her, i was scared that she was just another waifu. I mean, she was very cute after all. But then as the game went on, i thought she was a little too cute. And even further into the game, i finally slapped myself in the face and realized oh my god shes not a waifu. Shes a sister. 
That blew my mind, im ngl to you. A female character that isn’t supposed to be romanced? By jove, what a miracle! 
And she…is an amazing character. Im sorry, i just love her so much. I love her so much that she  probably ranks as my fifth or sixth favorite character which is surprising even to me. Everything about her is delightful and invigorating. She’s funny??? Her comedic timing is amazing, and she has such chemistry with the rest of the team. She’s actually useful to the plot, and while her character design is a little too on the nose for me in terms of cuteness (i mean, good god she’s wearing oversized sweater to show how cute and tiny she is, and her hair has literal hearts in it), she is absolutely lovable. 
But what i actually really wanna gush about for a second is sophia at the last stage of the game. You get the idea, i dont really like to get excited over things, so at this point i figured that there was nothing this game could do to shock me. 
And then sophia had a persona awakening. 
Like. holy fuck did i yell. I didnt realize what was happening until the music had already kicked in. and its just so fucking smart!!! Sophia??? The ai?? With no heart?? gOT A PERSONA???? AWAKENING??? BECAUSE SHE LEARNED WHAT THE HEART IS AND THE PASSION THAT YOU NEED IN ORDER TO GET A PERSONA??? I started crying honestly, because it was just so smart. And looking back on it now, its obvious!! Of course it would lead to this, it only made sense that the culmination of her character arc leads to her getting a persona, nothing else would have been as good. Also, her voice actor is just amazing?? When she was talking to ichinose at the end, i actually got incredibly emotional because of the line reads. Its just so spot on and it really captures the essence of sophia.
Muah. five stars Atlus. You got me. 
Ryuji <3!!!!
Oh man. Oh boy. Okay. so where do i start. 
Yall know i love him. Hes probably my favorite fictional male character of all time, and he is the one i was the absolute most cynical about in this game. I was expecting literally nothing. Nothing. Like. nothing. I thought he was just gonna keep being used as a joke, or a gag, and he’s gonna be super horny all the time for the other girls and it was gonna make me mad and there was gonna be some insane homophobic/queerphobic jokes in every other scene and i know i was being unfair, but i cant help it. 
And then i played the first two hours of the game, and i cried the entire time. Because ryuji has never been better than he is in this game. Its crazy. 
The ryuji in persona 5 strikers is who ryuji should have been/how he should have been treated this entire time. From the actual funny jokes (for example, the gold bar joke + his reaction to it in the beginning of the game), defending his female friends instead of being the one people need to defend from (natsume arc), and the fact that he was the one to be there with morgana and akira in the very beginning of the game. Its such a small thing that they didnt even need to do, but it was such an integral part of the original game for me, that i just was convinced that nothing like this was going to happen. But then it happened. Its just small stuff like that that could have been overlooked but it wasn’t because this game? Persona 5 strikers? Fucking loves ryuji. 
The actual respect they gave this boy is insane and i wasn't ready for it. Like, they gave the shujin trio lunch, they gave the little charm of the katana when they were in natsume’s jail, and, in my opinion this is the second-best thing that they could have given ryuji is sophia. Ryuji and sophia are the pinnacle of a brother & sister bonding relationship in the game that isn’t akira & futaba. And its really prevalent too?? Small stuff from the beginning of the game (pulling her out of a jail, calling her shorty), but then you have the iconic “shut the fuck up” scene, and that scene was so well characterized and written and voice acted, that somehow him saying “fuck” was the least exciting part of that scene to me. Ryuji is an older brother to her, like its undoubtable, and its only further cemented at the end of the game where Ryuji helps out ichinose because he knows how much sophia cares about her. This game. Love ryuji. And i love. This game. 
You know what else i love? Akiryu. 
Guys. i was fully prepared to starve in terms of akiryu. But theres just. So much of it. I wont get too deep into it, because i think this aspect of the game for me still needs marinate a little bit. Like, what was that last shot when EMMA died and Ryuji walked to approach Akira so they could relish in their victory together?? And the smile from both of them??? What the fuck. That was amazing. Also Joker being saved by Ryuji when he was about to fall from the cliff to save sophia??? WHAT. The LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN? WHAT. anyway. If theres anything i want to keep for myself in my own brain, its the akiryu aspect of this game, so i wont talk too much about that part of things (instead, itll probably manifest in fic lmfaooo). 
Sure, there’s tidbits of stuff i dont like that they gave ryuji: sexualizing ann in that one cut scene and making him touch the jails even though it hurts, and i recognize those and frown at them, but for the most part, i am blown away with how they treated him.
Basically, Ryuji has never been better. From the opening of the game with him being the first text message and the one to sling his arm around akira, to the very last cut scene where it was ryuji wordlessly leaving because he’s so confident that they would never be separated for long, this game adores Ryuji and i am so so happy to say that.
The Royal aspect of things
Yeah, i had to talk about this, but itll be a short thing i just wanted to point out. Because the last part of this game...is persona 5 royal. Which is curious. Like taking reality and giving that power to someone else so you dont have to experience suffering anymore? And even like, the final section just looked a lot like the top half of maruki’s palace?? And whats even crazier is that we had a boss fight with sophia, just like how we had a boss fight with sumire? Royal and Strikers have like, the same thesis statement. It’s kind of uncanny.It’s interesting, it’s like atlus came up with these two ideas, and then just decided they liked both of them so much that they just did it twice. I don’t mind though—actually, in terms of how the last Palace/Jails go, i probably like them both about equally. 
Though i did love the final battle in this one more than i did in royal. Splitting into teams?? Thats cool as fuck, and really innovative and i didnt see it coming. It also kicked my ass. A lot. 
Now for the last stretch: the small stuff!
The music — bomb as fuck. In my heart, Daredevil is ranked the same as Rivers. Axe to grind is also amazing, but Daredevil owns me
Akechi — i really debated whether or not to talk about him, but i figured a bullet point should be enough. Im really shocked that he wasnt in this at all. Like not even a name drop. If this is an OVA, and the point of the game is to please the fans, and akechi is arguably the fan favorite character, i was really ready for something. But there was nothing, except for the pancake hallway if that even counts as a reference. Thats it. Thats all i wanted to say about him.
The humour — FUCKING HILARIOUS im convinced that in my fifty hour playtime, five of that is dedicated to me laughing and unable to continue the game 
Akira — so much personality! His lines of dialogue are crazy sometimes (like. Whats up with him saying Ryuji has ‘nice abs’ when they were in bath? Im crazy and even i dont know what the fuck that could mean) 
Battle system — oh my god i almost forgot to talk about this. I love it! I kind of miss the turn based aspect just because i found it very comforting for some reason, but this hack and slash style of gameplay is so invigorating because i do feel like it justifies shit like the baton pass and huge attacks.  This battle system fully encompases how the Phantom Thieves are supposed to fight, you know what i mean?
Anyway, thats my thoughts on strikers. Loved it. Amazing. 9.3/10, wouldve been higher but Konoe’s Jail almost bored me to death. Also im a monster and i didnt do any requests that isn’t a fun one, teehee. As if i play persona 5 for the persona aspect of things.
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catkid2012 · 3 years ago
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12/31/21 8:01am
2021 was the year of  maturity . Starting 2022 my gig at Pepsi .
Pepsi Background: I started Pepsi 11/15/21 I have had 3 holidays . Got off 12/25/21 at 3:43am . wild Started 12/25/21 at Pepsi . I’m almost at my 60 days at Pepsi . 1/15/21 I be officially officially Pepsi employee in the union . I haven’t missed a day . Working hours like 9pm to 10:30am 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 what the fuck . I don’t even have kids lol . It’s not all Good But it ain’t All Bad .
Back to the topic : Overall I’m going in 4 hours early with the idea of being off before Midnight.
Just typing at this point . 8:11am . Oh . I deleted all my social medias in October. A lot went into . I also do it but get back on . This time it was no going back on . Deleted it . Got on a FULLBEAUTY had Interview same day as Pepsi. This year I took a step and really sacrificed and it’s working out . It’s a very sad and happy process . People I don’t see . People I don’t talk too . It’s all cause I been sober per say just weed and beer . I was a functioning drug addicted 2017 to 2020 . I can realize that now . To summarize that . High life = a lot of bs . Me just highs having on drug relationships. It’s it like wait when it’s no drugs why am I here lol . I realized I don’t like doing shit if I ain’t high but I don’t need to be high . I be locked in on myself . No drugs and no social media ( no one is on tumblr. Just my cousin 🤣) forces me to literally be in reality. The pass 3 months I wake and it’s only my life . Only things I see and do . Only people I only have one chance to speak to cause I never see them again . I’m not waking up looking at other people life’s anymore . It’s be very peaceful yet so much rage . Oxymoron.yet sad *pass future lie to me . * re sparks blunt . Me working tonight is me breaking a glass ceiling. It be the most grown thing I ever did . My 18 year plus life all my New Years I been some where drunk and having sex . Expect the dark year (the 100 ) the xan New Years is the dark year . Sheeshhhhhhhhhh. Moving on . 27 years now . So math times. 8 newt years all started me fucked up with people I don’t even see or speak too . The dark year happened for what . But in the moment it all had to happen . 2 of the years had a gf but didn’t start either New Years with her . Lmfao . That’s sick to look back on . I see now why that didn’t work out but it was me. Any way . This is me breaking an 8 year cycle . Working to start the year off sets the tone . I’m proud of myself . This has all be very hard . It’s hard for me to do grown things . Still switching my mind off drugs . If I don’t go to work I be some where lit . I be like it’s okay not to get lit today . Gym returning soon . Self love self love self love self . A lot of pray too . Thank God For your grace and mercy. Amen I’m out . 8:27am
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